I’m just like everyone else on here, trying to fill a void inside myself.
I guess I thought I needed someone else to fill it, that they would be my missing piece, now I’m just wondering if I’m with them for convenience, or more likely habit. That makes me sound like an awful person, and I can guarantee I’m not. It’s just lately I only get a sense of happiness and satisfaction when I do something myself, the most recent when it turns out I am actually good at something. It may only be something small but I cannot explain how wonderful it was to be happy with myself for the first time in years, well it seems like it.
You see I was happy, well you would say happy, I guess as happy as a teenager could be. But then I broke and I had to grow up. I fixed myself, well I thought I had. I found an outlet for all that anger, that sorrow. Three years it took. Three god damn hard, but fun years. And away to university. I thought I could give my heart to someone again.
Ha…turns out I didn’t have a heart to give away at all. It’s still in all those tiny, little pieces. That feeling of being back there again was hard and brought me down.
Yet I think I may have found away to mend it. It will just take time to get all those tricky shards back together, maybe with a few cuts along the way. Until then though I will have his heart, it doesn’t fit but I guess for now it will do.